#fascianista EP15 – Old Injuries Up For Healing, Mid Back Pain Breakthrough + a Reckoning With The Past

A LOT has happened this week in my #fascianista journey! 

Topics covered in this video: two childhood injuries resurfaced for me to heal, made known to me by my body during two trips to the hot springs; fate seemed to bring me the best person to help me heal these two old injuries, in the form of an old friend from Boulder who is a massage therapist that I used to trade with regularly; Stefan and I contemplate moving back to Boulder; being in Boulder for a week helped me reckon with the past and complete a few things that have weighed me down psychologically for two years; I bought a new backpack purse which I am convinced will save my body; the name of my first book came to me, and I feel inspired by visions I’ve seen of our future! 

What a week it’s been! Returning home to Durango, I am filled with gratitude, excitement, inspiration and faith. I no longer feel drawn to romanticize the past (Boulder), and instead feel calm and trusting about where life will take us. I don’t know where “home” is ultimately, but right now I am committed to making my every day like feel like home in body, mind and spirit. 

The two primary changes this week regarding my health have to do with my mid back pain and the nervous system impact of letting go of the past. 

Connecting the dots between two old injuries from my childhood and what I’ve been experiencing the last 8 years. I no longer feel in conflict with my body about this issue, and finally know what needs to be done! 

For two years I’ve felt stretched between the home I thought I’d never leave (Boulder) and an unknown, uncertain future in which I couldn’t yet see a home for us. Allowing myself to seriously entertain moving back allowed me to let go of Boulder in my heart and mind, and as a result I feel free to move forward. 

The moment I let go, I got visions of our future! The name and character of my first book came to me, in addition to other visions I’ll share in an upcoming episode. For a long time I’ve experienced that true presence includes an integrated past and an openness to meeting the future in the here and now. Not projecting myself onto the future, or manufacturing a future in my mind in order to will it into existence, but rather an openness to seeing, feeling and sensing the future that LIFE wants for me. Maybe it’s life, maybe it’s my soul or spirit or god…but it’s not entirely me. Getting myself out of the way helps make room for it to make itself known. 

What a week! 

Thank you as always for watching and coming along on this crazy, fascinating, painful, beautiful journey of mine, of exploring all that it means to be human. 


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