Hey there, adventurers!
Happy 2018 🙂
First, some logistical business: we won’t be doing any more Mobility Mastery Monday blog posts/videos/newsletters. Before you go cry into your foam rollers, listen up…
Before I divulge our secrets…
My wish for all of us is that we do away with the typical resolutions that are often punishing or shaming.
I am, however, a HUUUUGE (yuge! :P) fan of setting big, dreamy, FUN personal and business goals each year. Then…I love getting real about who I need to become in order to climb those mountains. A lot of the time, my goals are moonshots. In other words, perhaps just a teensy bit unattainable, if you’re of the persuasion to think like a rational human being. I, however, refuse to be rational! I am a dreamer. What about you?
At the heart of everything I do, teach and try my best to practice is a core belief that when we’re in integrity with ourselves – body, mind, heart and spirit – we can soar through life with far less resistance (and pain) and a whole lot of grace; and when we’re NOT in integrity, our body and life will try to get our attention – with pain signals, inflammation, gut issues, anxiety, relationship issues, depression, financial stress etc.
Today is a day of reckoning for me: of being willing to see myself (my habits, health, mental/emotional state), my business and my life as they truly are. To be honest…
Have you ever had house plants that you barely manage to keep alive by watering them just in the nick of time when they droop (they look so sad, don’t they!?) Then you forget about them, until….noooo! They’re drooping again! So this time you drown them with water and their leaves turn yellow. Smh.
I love plants. They make me happy.
Unfortunately, that picture over there happens more than I care to admit.
Also unfortunately, for most of 2016-2017 I’ve treated myself the way I treat my houseplants: I worked way too much and far too hard without the fuel and conditions necessary for me to thrive. I’d take one day off and do all.the.things (hike, cook, read, do yoga). Or sometimes, do all.the.nothings.
I’d feel perky again, and…back to the grind I’d go. Rinse and repeat.
I’ve gained 10lbs.
I’m tired a lot.
I have pain that could be eliminated…if I just prioritized my time differently.
How’d I get here?
I’d like to tell you a story about a girl who went from broken in every way to feeling unstoppable…only to lose herself again in a painful twist of irony. (Not to spoil the ending for you, but everything is going to be ok – for her, and for you, if you currently feel stuck).
Our heroine was born with a wild spirit. She’s a seeker of truth(s), she craves wonder and wilderness and above all desires freedom (and love).
Her mother went into labor August 21, 1980 and in just an hour and a half she was earthside.
People who know her like to joke (ok, she’s the one who jokes) that how she was born is how she does life: always fast out of the gate, she tends to jump off of cliffs and find her wings on the way down. (The lessons do tend to hurt, but man it’s fun!)
This spunky little girl boss got thrown into a traumatic series of events in her childhood and adolescence, and after that she spent more than a decade feeling trapped inside a body and mind that she believed had betrayed her. (If you’d like to read about those events, click here. This story is about to jump ahead a few decades).
Once-gregarious, our brown eyed girl became introverted and full of anxiety. Plagued by gut issues and a nagging feeling that this wasn’t what her life was supposed to be like – this wasn’t what she was supposed to be like – she began a quest to rescue herself.
She devoured books on spirituality, nutrition/health, personal development and the evolution of consciousness; she found solace trail running and hiking. Being outside was the only place she felt remotely alive.
For 8 long years, our heroine couldn’t even run one block without stabbing knee pain; for 6 years she couldn’t hike.
She was haunted by things she had no idea how to heal, and wondered if she would ever know what it feels like to be happy, or at peace. With a hint of resignation, she began working out in a gym 5 days a week under flourescent lights and gave up her dreams of trekking the Himalayas someday; the whir of elliptical machines and the sound of grunting men had replaced the birds and winds of the wild.
Her spirit wilted.
Fear not! She always had a keen intuition, and her quest had only just begun.
One unexpected day in 2008 she was introduced to something rather bizarre that would change her life forever: a method of fascial stretching that involved being stepped on. Within seconds she knew she’d be ok. She knew she would run and hike again, and perhaps…peace might follow. (Happiness seemed a lot to hope for just yet).
She had to wait two years to find out if she was right.
You see, her gut was telling her to do things that didn’t make sense to her mentors, and she couldn’t do this alone; she needed a sidekick! When she moved to Colorado she trained her best friend to work on her, and everything shifted.
Within a few weeks she was trail running and hiking again.
Thus began a wild love affair with climbing Colorado 14ers – mountains that reach above 14,000 feet elevation (there are 54 of them in Colorado!) She started backpacking, made friends with adventure (and fellow adventurers), learned how to scramble class 3 and 4 rock and came came roaring back to life.
She fell in love with her body, and the human body in general; she faced her demons and reclaimed her true self (an extrovert by nature) and when she did…her gut issues subsided, the anxiety disappeared and she realized how profoundly our pain pulls us towards the truth(s) that will set us free.
Madly in love with life again, and in awe of the indomitable power of the human spirit, she’d found her calling: to help as many other people on a quest like hers learn to trust their bodies and the messages of pain that would lead them to freedom.
She built a thriving private practice and became known as the go-to person in Boulder, CO if you had pain of any kind.
With the help of adventurous clients, she developed a new method of fascial release that combined breaking up soft tissue adhesions with principles of nervous system and brain re-patterning. (Kinetix Fascial Integration was officially born in 2015).
What gave her the greatest joy of all was helping people who felt so stuck or hopeless due to pain and injury that they thought they would never run, hike, climb mountains or do what they love again.
Knowing exactly how that felt, she was determined not to let this happen; not on her watch. Almost without exception, she helped them all find their freedom.
She spent every moment she could outside: hiking, climbing mountains (she climbed over 40 14ers in 3 years!), backpacking and trail running.
Feeling totally unstoppable after all those years of wondering if she’d even know what ‘happy’ felt like, she wished this experience on everyone who felt stuck, or hopeless or unsure if they can heal.
She had to share her discoveries with the world!
Naturally, she took to the internet and set up a blog and YouTube channel. Camera-shy and unsure what she was doing, she put off filming anything for almost a year. Then, she challenged herself to film 4 videos in one take each and committed to putting them on YouTube.
Convinced that at most, 50 people would ever see these first few videos, she did this mostly for herself: to get practice, and rip the ol’ band-aid off.
She put those 4 videos on YouTube and the blog, shared them once on her personal Facebook. Then, like any self-loving perfectionist, she promptly ignored them.
Then more viral. Then…holy shite! 10,000 people had watched that video! 30,000! 100,000! 500,000!!!
What.the.fuck. just happened?! What should she do NOW?!
Clearly, the answer was: do more of these videos! People were getting out of pain. People were emailing her from all over the world thanking her.
By going online she was helping thousands of people all at once – without needing to work on them herself. This was the most incredible feeling in the world.
So our little cliff-jumper grabbed her faith by the horns, jumped onto this wild pony and took a giant running leap into the internet (and entrepreneurial) unknowns…
That was two years ago exactly.
Of course, I am talking about me; a wilder version of me I am in need of rescuing once again.
I had no idea what I was doing.
I had no business plan and no prior experience with video or newsletters.
If I had known then what the next two years would be like…perhaps I would have remained content to help a few hundred thousand people get rid of their plantar fasciitis, and left it at that. (Remember ‘the ONE stretch?”)
…if we knew ahead of time how hard it would be to build something beautiful, resilient, fully supportive, loving and in the end dare I say, easy (earned) – we probably wouldn’t make it past the fifth date! Amiright?
My relationship to Mobility Mastery certainly feels like a wild love affair that started off full of excitement, promise, novelty and fun…only to bring on all the usual hurts, old wounds bubbling to the surface, the hard (hard) work and wondering if it’s even worth it.
It’s often been said, and I couldn’t agree more, that the entrepreneurial path is the surest way to find out what you’re made of, who you are and how ready you are to grow. Dude. DUDE. It’s c-r-a-z-y. And, I love it. I am NOT one of those born entrepreneurs. I was practically thrust into it, and I wouldn’t call myself one – yet.
When we’re willing to put in the time to get to know each other, get past all the initial awkwardness and messy communication and do the work to align ourselves to a vision and mission that’s in service to something greater than ourselves….the rewards can exceed our wildest dreams.
2016 and 2017 were about putting in that time, and doing the personal work necessary to earn what I feel in my bones is coming next. (It’s gonna be big and exciting and FUN y’all!)
When I started this blog, all I knew was I wanted to help as many people as I could experience the kind of freedom I had found, the kind of trust in my body, and the rapid transformation and pain-relief that’s possible when you know what to target and do it effectively.
I figured…if I could heal after all I’d been through and feel this much freedom, joy and gratitude, then anyone can. I wanted to help as many people as I could.
What I didn’t understand was just how much work this would be, and without a paycheck. In fact…
To date, this mission to help as many people as possible has cost me approximately $60,000 (in independent contractor fees, website design, legal help, etc). Wat!? (I didn’t even think I had that much extra money…but little by little it added up, like when you buy a bigger purse and somehow find a way to fill it).
I am not sharing this to complain. I share it to take responsibility. Admitting this is embarrassing. I tend to go big with whatever I’m doing, and when I fail…I do so in epic fashion.
I’ve always promised to be transparent, and share my own health journey, because Mobility Mastery is – above all – about health…and I strive to walk my talk.
As you know (because you’re a smart cookie), our health is tied to everything else in our lives: our relationships, our jobs, our stress levels, our diet, movement, money etc.
During the last two years, my own vitality diminished little by little, day by day until I realized gradually throughout 2017:
That wild fire in me had dwindled down to a tiny ember. In a painful twist of irony, by attempting to help other people feel wildly alive, I stopped living in integrity with my own values, needs and purpose…and wilted like my poor house plants.
Again, I’m not sharing this to complain. I want to take responsibility and steer this ship aright.
Meeting Stefan put all of this in perspective for me.
We want to have a family.
We both come from upbringings that included survival mode nervous system patterns. By the time we realized we were “it” for each other, I’d spent every extra dime to my name building Mobility Mastery into…
I didn’t even know.
I didn’t start out with a business plan. Or any plan for that matter.
While this blog has been a huge source of pride and joy (because I’m helping a lot of people all over the world), in a lot of ways I also became a slave to it, without knowing WHY I was even here (or why you should stick around, for that matter!)
Business isn’t my skill or passion (I am persistent as fuck though, and I am determined to become more business savvy).
Internet marketing isn’t my area of genius (cleeaaarly).
I didn’t know what to do with all the traffic coming to this site (there are so many people coming here to get out of pain!), or even how to convert that traffic into a community of people like you that I could build a relationship with….I just kept feeding the blog/YouTube/newsletter machine each week.
When I wasn’t with clients (which is what has miraculously paid for all of this) I was spending more and more time sitting (writing blog posts, newsletters, video scripts), and less and less time in the wild places that make me feel alive.
I only climbed one mountain last summer.
I didn’t do any backpacking at all.
2017 was all about growing pains and getting honest with myself so I could boldly (re)claim my why.
In 2017 I had to face some BIG inner demons I didn’t even know were there: a subconscious belief that I couldn’t depend on anyone but myself. I saw how this was showing up everywhere, from my relationship with Stefan to other relationships, this blog and my business entirely. (If I can’t depend on anyone, how could I have a healthy partnership, or have kids with someone? Hire the right help? How could I expect to make money online?)
Instead of standing strongly in my vision and creating a business around my real mission, I hid behind the free content that was so much easier to put out each week than risk being rejected if I tried to create an actual community or paid course around what matters most to me.
Most of us know what we need to be doing to feel healthier, happier, more fulfilled, less stressed…yet, we often get caught up in shoulds, other people’s stories, societal expectations or our own mind-spirals of fear and doubt.
Being in integrity (to me) means:
In order to re-align with our integrity when we need to (because it’ll never be perfect, we’ll mess up and have to re-align ourselves), we have to define and re-define what our values are, what our goals are, what our mission is, and then make our life a reflection of these through habits, actions, relationships and work.
Here’s what I know right now:
To use the incredible opportunity that Mobility Mastery has become to help 10 million people by 2030 learn how to turn pain and adversity into their best allies for rapid transformation, personal evolution and lifelong resiliency on all levels: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.
And…to create a life and family with Stefan built on the values listed below.
My real work is about healing trauma, and honoring the pain that’s always trying to bring us home to ourselves and into a life of freedom.
My passion is in bridging the gap between the woo-woo and scientific, by translating key pieces of neuroscience, anatomy and nervous system wisdom into everyday terms and practical how-to’s for myself, my clients and you.
I have two high priority FEELING goals for 2018: to feel wildly alive and deeply connected to this beautiful planet, to my own body, to Stefan, to my online and offline communities and to my mission.
I feel wildly alive when I’m: climbing mountains, hiking, backpacking, soaking in hot springs, meeting new people, teaching Kinetix, having sex, having amazing/fun conversations, taking risks, learning and evolving.
Now, my work is to align my daily actions and habits with all of the above.
Holy smokes, I thought this blog post would never end 😉
If you made it this far, please share your thoughts, feedback and of course – your own vision for 2018, so I can support you!
Please share in the comments so Stefan and I can support you!
BONUS question: What about pain relief/mobility goals? Is there an injury or issue you want to resolve for good, or discover the message hidden in it (like, if you have anxiety or gut issues or back pain that won’t budge no matter what you try?) Please share this too, and I’ll do my best to help you realize this goal.
Here’s to an AMAZING 2018 full of risk taking, triumph, adventure, freedom, love, connection, evolution and feeling wildly alive!
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