Latest Update (Good News!) + My Trauma Story – #fascianista EP05

Follow along with the latest in my own ongoing journey with health and healing. While I’m seeking specific help with detoxing from mercury poisoning, the themes I cover are universal: wanting to be seen and believed when we seek professional help for health; learning to trust our own wisdom vs when to defer authority to someone “who knows more”; using fascia release for healing from pain, toxicity and nervous system trauma/patterns…and so much more. 

This week I’m sharing my trauma story.

Many of you have been asking me to share more of my own stories, and this is my overview for you of the major events that shaped my life. 

As always, I’m not sharing these videos so everyone can take a stab at “diagnosing” me online. I’m sharing this journey because I believe the sub-topics and themes are universal, and I want to open a larger dialog about what trauma actually is, where it lives in our bodies, what real healing looks like and how trauma informs so much of modern life, from mental health to physical health, disease, illness and politics. 

I firmly believe we can do trauma healing differently…

…with more safety and space for everyone’s feelings to be heard, validated and honored; with patience for the messy bits (which is to say, most of trauma healing); with a lot of grace for each other, with fierce self-love, healthy boundaries and holding each other accountable to be our best selves – and if we do that, I believe the world would change so much for the better. We would have less dis-ease, more connection, fewer wars, more consciousness, more love…

Please share a takeaway below, a personal experience you’ve had on your own healing journey or anything else that feels helpful to this discussion. I love hearing from you!

Got a question based on this week’s video? Post it below, I’m always happy to answer if I can!

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  • Deborah says:

    Thank you for sharing your trauma story. It’s empowering to hear, after all you’ve been through, how you overcame the struggles. Your strength and resilience are inspiring! And your presence is wonderfully magnetic. I’m interested in how you were able to rid yourself of the numbing disassociation you felt. What’s the cure for “derealization”?

  • Jacklyn says:

    I applaud, you Elisa, for your authenticity, for sharing your story so openly with us. I do believe too many times, YES YOU ARE RIGHT, “Professionals” in the field of psychology, social work, “the Western” ways of guiding people through post traumatic experiences are “Textbook Orientated.” The people working in these areas have gotten an education and are “practicing” what they were taught. I’ve been through therapy myself, a few times, where I became most curious about how these people, “Professionals” go down the list, asking the same questions, checking off the same boxes… and as they do, I feel I’m being put in the same “box” the person who sat in the chair before and after me were put in. Through the 3 times I sought therapy, I never felt I was “heard.”

    I believe no two people having the same experience, including the same age, goes through abuse the same way.

    Yet, there I am, along with many, many people, exhausted to the point where we stop therapy sessions, we don’t show up for the next appointment. Why? Because the person being paid my hard earned money was doing nothing to help me find the individual that I am. Me. Different than any other human person. I know I’m the only one, with God, who knows I can get heal. My story is of course unique to me, and I’m hoping I can release the pain the knots up the facia that holds me together. I believe experiences in our lives are THE cause for these painful facia knots I’m experiencing, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

    The way we develop, endure, grow is only seen by ourselves. It doesn’t takes a lot for me to see that Traditional Therapy this is its own “lose of oneself” that is happening in society today. Why? It’s my opinion that education, spending hours and hours studying research journals, the experiences of others never will reach an individual person.

    This is extra long, and you may not want to include this in the comments on your vlog, but it’s necessary for me, personally, in order for me to heal, I share this information with you. It’s possible that others who follow you are in the same place I’m in, just a different career path, and a different illness that is clogged up my broken facia.

    I taught Kindergarten for 17 years at a very difficult military school. I learned to see each child as an individual person of his or her environment. Each day, I taught as many as 62 children ages 5-6. I had a morning class of generally 27-31 kiddos, and an afternoon class of the same number. That’s a lot of “individual people,” daily, bringing special, personal needs to my classroom.

    I learned NOT to teach from the Teacher Editions (TE) for most every subject. I could do better, I feel I was “born to facilitate learning,” NOT just be a Teacher.

    I looked at what the goals were, the standards each child should reach before they were ready for 1st grade. I felt what the kids needed each day, just by observation.

    Kindergarten was THE year they would learn HOW to learn, to become lifelong learners. They were just beginning that awesome feeling of autonomy, self reliance, parent separation. (The parent(s) we’re also growing, needing to let go).

    I began spiritually, emotionally and physically to “SEE” and “HEAR” the needs these kids had. It was all through a keen eye of observation using all my senses as they would use all their senses to grow.

    Some were no where near ready to read or write, count or spell, share or make friends. I found my own way by sitting in the tiny seat where each child began our day, at their tiny colored table.

    I’d sit there after class, and think about the child as a whole person. How did he/she do today? Could he/she see and hear me well from where they sat, (rarely we SAT)….was he/she among the best group of kids for them personally to grow. How was he/she doing with making friends, sharing, listening, acting at recess, social activities, participating, taking risks? Did I feel he/she felt like part of our class community? Was he/she isolated in any way? Was there anything going on in his/her personal lives? Did he/she have the learning tools they needed?

    It was a deeply challenging career, to meet each child where he/she was in their personal development.

    I learned very early in my career I didn’t learn much about teaching from my university studies. I didn’t learn about how important it was to see “the whole child” in a group that couldn’t be taught at the “mean” level, and then isolate the few low and the few high, and find a way to re~teach or challenge the higher learner.

    That’s how my university has taught me. The Teacher Educations (TE)were clear. They were the “Gold” we would use to facilitate knowledge. It was like this:
    1. Teach the whole group.
    2. Observe as they practice.
    3. Find the low kids do what the TE said to do.
    4. Find the high kids. Do what the TE told me to do.

    Turn the page tomorrow.
    Almost anyone could do the same job.

    It was BORING!

    What happened that first year was a disappointment for the passion I had for each individual child. I wanted to “make a difference,” and I KNOW I didn’t. How could I?
    Who wrote these Teacher Editions?

    Not a Kindergarten Teacher, I felt that loud and clear, with every beat of my heart. I knew I wasn’t happy being “that teacher.”

    There was nothing said about “Discipline.”
    The word BORING above brought with it the challenges of Poor Behaviors:
    Kids who came to school sad because a parent was just deployed. Some were scared. Most were far away from Family. Most were raised in single parent homes because a parent was on “War Assignment.”
    Were there child abuse of all different kinds? You bet there was.
    Did I watch for signs of sexual abuse?
    Did I find it?
    Did I report it?
    It was my responsibility to report what I saw. Did the child get help? I don’t know. More times than not, the child no longer attended my school, so I didn’t know.

    QUESTIONS? Yes I had questions. I’d grown to truly know and care about each child, as I sat in each chair, pondering, making observations about that little life.

    Elisa, I know the kind of abuse you have talked about in this video is very personal to you. I see your mannerisms as you’ve broke through the chains and challenges basically on your own.

    You found an outlet: Writing in your journal about your journey, but, asking for help, and not getting it, yet, there it was, in your journal for a wise adult to read. You were trying to get someone to hear you. No one did.

    I thought about my Kindergarten kids, the year began with a group of kids, but ended with many new kids, as the Military are always being transferred.

    I thought of you Moving away from your special Friend, whom you later learned was killed in a car accident. I wept through your personal story, and I’m anxious to watch how fascia release has blessed your life in your next videos.
    Because I continue to carry many of these kids in my facia. Many! That’s a lot to carry. I’m hoping you can help me, I can learn to breathe, and be ok with my memories. I need to know how to be “stepped on” for more than one reason.

    Hold onto my Kindergarten story for a minute as I explain where I am today. I will say those 17 years are deep in every cell of my body, because I took my teaching job very person.

    Today, I’m very sick with an illness called Interstitial Cystitis (IC). I was diagnosed after seeing 17 Doctors and/or specialists who referred me to another doctor, until I was in tears with my diagnosis.

    (IC) Some good cells became confused and attacked good cells in the gag layer of my bladder. The gag layer is a protection layer. This attack of my gag layer left it Ulcerated, (Hunners Ulcers) cracked and broken, allowing acidic urine to leak into the most sensitive and intimate nerves of my body. ???????????? The nerves that give you intimate feelings are on fire, think of putting lemon juice, or vinegar constantly on an open paper cut or sore that never heals. IC isn’t discussed much because there is no known cause, very little medical support, no pharmaceutical support, no money for research and very little treatment.
    No Cure. Ever.
    My pain doctor explained it this way, 14 years ago when pain took me away from my passion of Teaching:
    “I can’t get your pain level much below a 6 or 7, that’s with high levels of pain medications. IC is equal to Bladder Cancer Stage 4, without the Cancer. I can’t help you as much as I can help my Bladder Cancer patients, and IC won’t cause your death.”

    I’m currently in many IC Facebook Groups, (more and more diagnoses every day from ages 9- and up, generally around age 30…Near daily we learn we have lost someone to suicide, the pain is intense, you have to be a “Pain Warrior” to survive. Endure one day at a time.

    Being employed is near impossible for most. Many, like myself are on permanent Disability with very little Income.

    We lose our friendships, family, activities, hobbies… very difficult times concentrating on anything for very long with this intense and invisible *PAIN*. IC gives the urgency ????pain of needing to relieve the acidic urine on average 40-60 times in a 24 hr day. Nights are times when we can’t sleep. Daytime we are exhausted but hoping for a life event of any kind without pain. Our diet is very controlled. Most every normal thing I would have eaten causes pain level 10+ Flares. Liquids are limited to filtered water. The pain has caused Pelvic Floor Dysfunction, and for me Pudendal Nerve Entrapment. Another problem of it’s on.
    IC nearly took my marriage as normal intimacy is extremely painful. I’m now living like my grandparents did. My husband has his bedroom. I have mine. We do deeply love each other, we’ve been through a lot to be in the loving place we are in today, and we long for our relationship to continue to grow.

    I don’t know how I found your videos, Elisa, but I’m happy I did.

    I feel like I’m carrying my Teaching Career in my facia, along with the intense pain of IC, PNE, and PFD.

    Could this be true?

    My body is in knots. I use a suction cup with essential oils, dragging it along my tummy, in the direction of bowel elimination. It rugs and pulls, the tissue below the skin. It’s like sandpaper on rough wood.

    You talk about you bowels, your gut being part of your challenges. I have to schedule my bowels, with laxatives, massage, every 4-5 days to get my constipation to give me tiny bits of relief. I’m constantly bloated.

    Please direct me to the video(s) I can watch and learn to get my posture back, Gut health, knots loosened, and as much pain relief as possible.

    Because this video was about sexual abuse, healing from it, could I be holding in the children I know were being abused? One of my little students was walking to school. She was hit and killed by a truck. I had to identify her. I sat with her at the hospital until her parents could be reached.

    When I was 17, two children I babysat were murdered next door, across from my bedroom window. I had to testify that I’d seen a man a day after their death, in the backyard attached to ours. The murder had not been discovered yet. I’ve lost other children to death, not related to me… could the pain I feel from this be in my facia?

    Thank You for opening up and telling your story. I know you are right about our body and the tightness of our facia affecting our health. You are ahead of your time as I’ve read in other comments on this and other videos.

    I pray you will become a mom. You’d be an awesome mom.

    You are welcome to share what you would like if my comment, any or none. Whatever will help your audience. I’ve shared your videos with a few friends I’ve met on Facebook. You plant seeds of hope in my heart.
    I’m 45 year old female.
    4’10” 171 lbs. I hardly eat anything, as eating hurts my bladder.

  • patricia says:

    Wow. What an amazing journey. Thank you for sharing with us. I have to admire our strength to heal and overcome our past traumas. I have a 13 yo daughter and I couldn’t imagine anything like this happening to her and it angers me that you had nowhere to go for help. I completely agree with you that we all have trauma, I just started reading a book called The Transformation Discovering Wholeness and Healing after Trauma by James Gordon .https://cmbm.org/thetransformation/# . I wish I could buy everyone in the world a copy! The author is actually doing tours to areas affected by disasters and school shootings. He teaches techniques to people to help them heal from traumatic events.
    Thank you,

    • Hi Patricia, thank you so much for sharing your support and resources! I had not heard of James Gordon, but will check him out. I appreciate you taking the time to comment, I feel your care (for me, 13 year old me, your daughter and traumatized humans) and that means so much.

  • Cheryl says:

    Wow, yes you had a trauma life. I am blown away by the parallels to my own life experiences. I can not believe how brave and vunerable you are being putting this out there. wow! I am so in awe of your honesty and bravery.I was molested at 13 as well by a brother in law. Best friend died at 13, Family was dysfunctional and NEVER there for me as well. I am 59 and yikes seems like a life time of more trauma. I am realizing and trying to heal from. That is in fact how I found your videos.I was searching the internet for information on fascia release because I recently experienced a severe/ debilitating neck pain re occouring (turns out to be grief) related to the suicide of my brother many years.ago. It blew me away that while i went on and thought healed from it, my body (fascia memory) held onto that physical pain and brought it up in this new situation. Hmmm maybe not as healed as i thought. Nope. So I am on some kind of healing journey and God put you in my path and I am greatful for your story, vunerabilty, and honesty. Thank you.
    I do disagree with your one statement on trauma–I think opposite of you– Trauma is messy and not fair!! healing is human and victorious !!
    The dysfunctional adults who were not there for you will probably NEVER accept the responsibility for their part it is so sad but some people are more comfortable in whatever that is for them, I call it unloving and selfish. It is a human condition that is so sad and unfair. I would like to meet you sometime. To thank you in person, you are awesome.

    • Hi Cheryl, thank you for your comments and sharing some of your story. I appreciate your openness and your support of me and what I’m doing here with Mobility Mastery. I am sending you lots of supportive healing energy, and encourage you to explore my blog because it’s full of information on fascia, emotions, nervous system patterns and how to videos. Would love to hear an update from you at some point too 🙂

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